


offtake

by huebin2002



Series: i just wanna be a pet [3]
Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Going to reach the climax soon, Huening Kai-Centric, M/M, We're on the endgame now, another part of: this not supposed to turn angsty but it did anyway, but yeah here's part 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 11:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18755944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huebin2002/pseuds/huebin2002
Summary: Kai knew they had to talk about their relationship at some point, but he wasn't expecting this.





	offtake

**Author's Note:**

> FINALLY. Like, I've been so freaking busy these past weeks that I kept postponing this series ughh. Anyway, I think I'm gonna end this series faster than expected because if I were to continue this gonna be a 50k+ monster sooner or later lol I know I have no self restain when it comes to writing sookai. Anyway, happy ready and hope y'all will enjoy it!

 

Kai found himself curled into his side the morning after, still clad in his previous date’s outfit and messy bed hair. He looked so undone, so vulnerable, so weak, perhaps. With thick blanket draped over his alabaster skin, he laid beside Soobin, the dull, sickening shade of washout white contrasting against his pale skin. Yesterday was—well, yesterday was something and nothing. Nothing because even if he could understand it well enough to put it into words, he wouldn’t know how to talk about it. Something because it definitely meant a world to both of them—or at least to him. So yeah, nothing and something. So laughable, right?

 

With a sigh, Kai buried his face into the junction of Soobin’s neck. Both of them were already awake—had been for the past three hours and yet it was all silent and still. It kind of drove him mad.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

Silence fell among them again, and it was very quiet, so quiet that it was deafening. There was it, that peculiar look beyond his eyes. That nameless, unknown meaning behind his gaze, it made him feel uneasy; burning and searing a dimmed flame within him, splattering his skin red with its heat. Kai tried to ignore it, _him_.

 

And yet, the tight feeling in his chest did not disappear.

 

“Yeah,” Soobin said after a minute. “Yeah. What is it, Kai?”

 

"What are we, Binnie-hyung?" Kai nuzzled his nose along his spine, breathing in his scent. "What are we?"

 

"I don't know," Soobin answered truthfully, his fingers tangling themselves between his hair. "But I will not let anyone have you. That’s all I know.”

 

And his resolve melted down into water, a warm sensation filled his stomach, making him weak all over again. Kai didn’t know how to respond to _that_ , so instead, he tried to brush it off like he always did. “Aw, not even when Yeonjun-hyung needs his cuddle partner?”

 

“Not even when Yeonjun-hyung needs his cuddle partner,” he confirmed with a nod. “Nope."

 

"You're going to make him mad again." Kai almost laughed when he said this, or at least he tried to. "He's going to be so mad that you will regret it. I  _know_  you will regret it."

 

"Who cares." Soobin snorted. "I'm keeping you here and he has nothing to say about that."

 

"Yep~" Kai popped the letter 'p' and poked his cheek. "A dead meat."

 

"Whatever," Soobin said, pinning him down to the bed, raven hair falling into his eyes like a waterfall. Kai squirmed uncomfortably under his heated gaze, hiding his eyes beneath his bangs. Still, he could not tear his eyes away. It burned him; the intensity, but his body won't let him look away. "Just promise me that you won’t force yourself again to go through those stupid dates. I know that you still have issues but there’s no need to step that low, Kai. You ought to know that."

 

Those words rang in his head, repeating over and over again just like a broken record. Kai bit his tongue hard, tasting the metallic rust between his teeth, hoping that the pain would keep him from bursting out in tears.

 

"I'm not forcing myself. I  _love_  those dates. They are fun and easy and some of the boys were actually nice." he said defensively, pushing his hands on his broad chest, glaring over his long lashes at him. "I can enjoy my time with them without being in a relationship and you have no right to tell me otherwise."

 

"You're not." Soobin declared as though he knew everything. As though he knew him. That stupidly incorrigible boy. "You're just doing it because nobody knows about your real self." he paused, licking his lips. "Because nobody  _cares_."

 

Kai watched him curiously, eyes shining in wonder and maybe,  _just maybe,_  a little bit of sick resentment.

 

He's not  _his_  Binnie-hyung, somehow. Not the same.

 

_Different._

 

"You've changed." Kai pursed his lips into a straight line, then pushed Soobin away a little to look straight into his eyes. "If it were you from two years ago, you would have told me what I'm doing is wrong from the start. You would have spared me from the heartache the moment I was walking down the wrong path but you didn't." laughs bubbled inside his throat, pushing through his windpipe and out his lips. It hurt, but it’s okay. The pain would keep him awake. "You didn't. And instead, you ignored me like I was a plague."

 

Soobin’s eyes darkened—with what, he didn’t know. Maybe anger. Yeah, it could be anger.  "I didn't—"

 

"Don't," he whispered. Kai didn't really know what he was doing exactly. Lying on this familiar king-sized bed, seeing the pure white painted on the sleek walls and tiles, and the amber fleck of his orbs, or the raven of his hair—it made him feel insecure, and he—he was drowning. Kai was drowning in him and he hated the feeling. "Don't deny it. You've changed, and I don't know whether it's for the good or bad. Why did you change, huh?"

 

"Everybody changes," Soobin said after a moment of silence. "Growing up always did that to a person. I'm not an exception. I can break too, Kai."

 

_And you can break me_ , Kai smiled at the implication. the words sounded more like he was begging him. And he seemed so old, so,  _so_  old in his younger days even though he was such a stupid, stupid boy. Stupid people never age, they said. But for this case, well—

 

"You've grown so much, Binnie-hyung," Kai said softly, still looking up to his beautiful eyes. "You've grown so tall. So strong. Just take a look at yourself." he smiled. "You have bigger frame now. You're calmer, more subsided. And your eyes—your eyes changed. You've grown so much but you've changed so much." he paused to give him a bittersweet smile. "I miss the old you."

 

"I'm still the same." Soobin croaked out, his voice breaking like a thousand of glass. "I'm still  _me_ , Kai."

 

"I know," Kai said. "But you've changed so much I'm afraid that I can't love you the same."

 

"Don't say that." his voice shook so badly that he thought he was going to cry. "Please don't do this to me. Not after everything we’ve been through."

 

Instead of giving him an answer, Kai cupped his face inside his small palms, tracing warmth under his fingertips. The feeling was back into the surface again, so did the disturbing echo within his mind. His head was hurting, and it was a torture to keep his pain from showing, but he couldn't show any weakness in front of this boy in front of him. Not now, not ever.

 

"Hyung, aren’t you tired?" Kai asked softly, "Because I am. So let's just stop now, okay?"

 

And then, all that was left was silence. Kai let out a shuddering breath, his fingers shook a little when he tried to brush the stray tears from his eyes, but then a warm hand suddenly overlapped his trembling-cold one, and he looked up to see Soobin’s glassy eyes staring down at him.

 

“Don’t leave.”

 

The phrase was so simple and pure and yet it managed to get his heart into turmoil once again. Kai thought of his strong arms around him, their foreheads touching. He thought of his kind eyes, brimming with tears. He thought of his bittersweet smile; the way his tears fell; the way he murmured his name. He thought of his warm hands; the wild expression upon his face when he saw him yesterday morning; the tender kisses he left against his skin. He thought of it all, and he said;

 

“I won’t.”

 

_I can’t._

 


End file.
